Interview with Maria Zavala, Student at UC Santa Barbara and Dream Scholar Peer Advisor

Conducted by Jessica Scadron

Maria is a senior at UCSB. She also works full time. It’s an understatement to say she’s busy. But she’s used to it - she’s been working hard to improve her life for as long as she can remember. She’s a Dreamer who migrated across several countries to the U.S., and she’s about to graduate college with a degree in biopsychology. Maria knows what it’s like to seek opportunity and work hard for everything she has. Now she’s using her success to help other students navigate the higher education system so they can graduate like she will.

I was lucky to grab some time with Maria to learn more about her experience as a Dreamer and what it’s like to attend a higher education institution in California.

Here’s what she had to say.

Share a little about yourself.

I was born in Honduras where I lived until I was two or three years old. I can’t remember exactly because I don’t have many memories of living there. I do remember my mom leaving my little brother and me alone during the day to go to work because she couldn’t afford a babysitter. That made me grow up fast. I learned how to tell time from a very young age because I would watch the clock waiting for my mom to get home. I remember time going by very slowly.

My mom migrated with my brother and me to Mexico where we lived for three or so years. When I turned six in 2002, we went to Richmond, California where my entire family was living - my grandma, all of my aunts and my cousins. It was the first time I met them. We were the last ones in our family to arrive in America.

I vaguely remember bits and pieces of the voyage from Mexico - being in the car for a long time, the desert, and the heat. We got pulled over by the Mexican military to conduct a drug search. They took everyone out of the car except for the kids. My younger brother was two at the time and got his first nose bleed during that search. I had never seen blood before and started screaming. That ended the search quickly!

What was it like when you started school in America?

I didn’t start school until the middle of the year. I was supposed to be in first grade already, but because I didn’t speak English, they put me in kindergarten the first half of the day, and first grade in the second half. My teachers didn’t speak Spanish which made the experience hard for them, and for me. Fortunately, my first grade classmates saw me struggling and helped me talk to the teacher by translating what I wanted to say.

I was able to acclimate to the language within a year. But it was a huge culture shift for me, hanging out with new kids and leaving my friends behind in Mexico who were street kids.

Eventually I made it to high school. I got into Middle College, which is a hybrid of high school and college situated within a community college. I had high school teachers and college professors. I found out about the opportunity when recruiters came to our elementary school. I applied for the program because I knew it would save me money for college. And I was serious about my studies and knew the school would allow me to focus.

When did your desire to advocate for others start?

I’m not exactly sure, but I think it was in college when I got a job at the Office of Financial Aid. I was asked to be a Dream Scholar Peer Advisor to work with undocumented students. I was in the same position the students were and could relate to their experience of being undocumented. I would give them advice about financial aid and refer them to other resources like Udocumented Student Services or the Financial Crisis Center. I would recruit students from different departments to be in a support group of undocumented students to see how we can better help them. I’d also refer them to safe places to go.

I learned that undocumented students don’t have access to CalFresh, only citizens do. Because food and hunger is such a critical issue for many students, especially undocumented students, my team of three applied for a grant from the Food Security Task Force to get these students money for food. That was an amazing experience - working with my colleagues and students to create a plan for how the grant would work and getting students what they needed. We were able to secure the $25,000 grant.

I learned so much from that exercise, like when applying for a grant, you always want to pitch a pilot program to test the waters before asking for a big program investment. I also learned that whenever you’re designing something for students, you have to include them to know what works best for them - it helps you see cracks in the foundation of whatever you’re building. I also had no idea I could ask for money to help my peers out!

What are some of the biggest barriers students like you face in getting into and graduating from college?

Money is probably the biggest barrier. The other is “stereotype threat.” The theory is that a person is aware of a certain stereotype, like “Latinas aren’t good at science.” We become so aware of that stereotype that we’re afraid of becoming that. But, by being afraid of it, we make it happen.

I felt that way for the longest time. I’d feel this pressure and stress when I was taking exams, and would fail. I knew I could pass, I knew I was properly trained, but it’s not that simple. Sitting in a room with 500 students, I would tell myself that I wasn’t as smart as they were, that I didn’t deserve to be there. Telling myself those things prevented me from working at my fullest potential.

Eventually I realized I should try to do my best and stop talking to myself that way. I had to teach myself not to worry about anything else around me; I had to believe in myself not because I wanted approval or to disprove the threat, but because it’s what I wanted. Once I started being nice to myself, I did really well in my classes and on my exams.

With all the problems the world throws at you, it doesn’t help to be your own enemy.

How did you get involved with Students Rising Above (SRA)?

SRA students came to Middle College to tell us about the organization. I filled out an application that day because they explained how they’d hold my hand throughout college, which was very important to me because I didn’t know anything about how to apply as a DACA student. I’m a first generation student - I didn’t even know college was a possibility!

I got a call for an interview, something I’d never done before. I wasn’t prepared at all. All I knew was that I had to dress nicely. I walked into my interview and there were four people staring at me. I panicked.

They asked me personal questions about my life and relationship with my mom. I wanted to cry. It was so hard to keep it professional. But, I got the scholarship and into SRA, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Without it, I wouldn’t have been able to go to college.

They taught me how to apply to college, and they paid for my applications. They offered me money to visit the schools and hired a calculus tutor for me. They pushed me to get a job, which is how I landed at the Office of Financial Aid. They gave me a stipend every month to pay for personal expenses. That was a tremendous help when my mom lost her job and I had to support my family while I was in school. And they always checked in with me.

What did you learn from your experience with SRA?

I learned to believe in myself. I didn’t know I was going to go to college. I thought I couldn’t do it because we didn’t have money and I thought I wasn’t smart enough. In college, I took all kinds of science classes – neuroscience, chemistry, and biopsychology – that I loved. I wouldn’t have known I liked these topics or believed I’d be good at them. I realized my potential.

Is there another experience that made you realize your potential?

Working in the Office of Financial Aid. I never thought I’d work with students so closely. I just needed a job at the time. I didn’t want to struggle financially like my mom did. For me, it was urgent to have a savings account because I know the struggles of not having one.

I can relate to the students who come into our office because we specialize in money and finance. I’m not a therapist, but students break down and talk about how awful their day was. I understand where they’re coming from, so in addition to helping them navigate the system to access the resources and support they need, I’m there to support them and help them figure things out.

The experience has made me realize I may want to go into counseling. I hadn’t considered it before, but it’s a way I could help people, help my peers.

What’s your dream for California’s higher education system?

I’d like to see undocumented students not have to worry about food. I was lucky enough to have a scholarship to cover my expenses, but many students don’t have that. How can they focus on their studies when they don’t know where their next meal will come from?

What does the future look like for you?

I’ve been losing sleep over this question lately. I feel privileged. Even though I struggled from an early age and grew up fast, I’m lucky to have SRA, to have gone to a good high school and been supported throughout college. It feels unfair that I have a comfortable bed, and food and safety given everything that’s happening at the border and how migrants are being treated.

I feel responsible for helping others. I’m not sure if that’s social work or counseling. Life is too short to worry about yourself and stereotypes. It’s selfish to focus just on me. I need to focus on helping others.